Life out of sync

its kind of like you have no voice

or nothing you say matters enough for anyone to hear

and you feel so much and so powerfully that trying to verbalise it is impossible

so it just sounds pathetic anyways

and you're always always vulnerable

to the stupidest of things

like you have no clothes on

and every stretch mark or vein is magnified

so you look like some sort of anatomy model

I guess its lucky my favourite colour is purple.

I wish I never had to talk

and people could just know what I meant

also, I wouldn't have to open my mouth so you wouldn't see my braces

and I could position my jaw just right

so that I don't have an overbite.

I don't mind contradicting myself

as long as people know I know I'm condradicting myself and that I don't mind it.

Sometimes I feel like I'm more of a Picasso painting then a person

but apparantly people find them beautiful and pay alot of money for them

even though they're all mixed up and wierd.

I think thats pretty cool though,

that people recognise that sometimes the things worth alot are mixed up and wierd

I read somewhere that everything is broken and has cracks in it because thats how the sunlight gets in

I once wrote something about what it would be like if you could hold love in your hand

and you could either break it or give it away or whatever

and something about getting married and waking up in a shitty bed and breakfast

but I don't remember them so well

and I doubt people would read them anyways

theres a wierd sort of stigma attached to people who write things.

Anyways, I like things that don't judge

like pets and little kids.

But the one thing that never judges you is a bed

and I get why Tracey Emin did that bed piece

because theres not much you have such an intimate relationship with

and where you can lie there in your cheap underwear with all the purple hues

and still feel like the most beautiful thing ever

whatever beautiful is, it doesn't matter.